Is it sad and pathetic that I am still so damaged from a relationship that ended a year and a half ago? Is it sad and pathetic that watching "Sex and the City" and hearing Aidan yell out to Carrie, "YOU BROKE MY HEART!" made me sob uncontrollably as I drove home, staring into my dashboard thinking about how incredibly broken I still am?
I am pretty convinced that the deadly combination of a complete and utter lack of closure and my inability to get over things has ruined me in the boyfriend department. Part of me really wants one, but another part is smarter and says that I need to concentrate on myself for a while. That smart part needs to do a better job at reminding me not to watch "Sex and the City." I don't really even think about Joe that much anymore and I really have moved on...for the most part. But, every so often, all these "what ifs" pop into my head, the most prominent being "What if I just saw him, out of the blue (which would never, ever happen)? What would I do?" I can never answer that one. It's something I always wish would happen...probably because I am so starving for closure.
I wish they sold closure on Amazon. I'd ask for it for Hannukah.
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