ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I've finally come to the definate realization that I need to put the past behind me for a little while, stop letting it get me down and making me moody and move the fuck on. I need to take the next few years to explore the totally rad parts of myself and stop worrying about what people are gonna think. I've been WAY too concerned with that my whole life, and it's lame.

So, this past weekend was neato. Andy had been out here all week seeing me, Rachel, Aaron and California. He wanted to see San Francisco and Berekely, so we drove up Friday afternoon, stayed at the W Hotel in Newark...middle of nothing Silicon Valley. But, there was a special on the room (which was actually a suite) and the room was totally hot. It kinda reminded me of my parents' house. Saturday we drove to PCH 1 via windey California mountain roads (the best roads in the world) and stopped at a random place along the coast and hiked down to the beach. After getting back to the top, all covered in outsideness and sweat, we made our way to San Francisco. We went over the Golden Gate (ba-dooby-doo-bop-bah-da) and my breaks freaked out and caused a gross smell from being pratically vertical on a hill in Sausalito, so we headed on back to San Fran. After some Quiznos, we checked out SFMOMA. I don't know who would win in a fight between NYC MOMA and SF MOMA, I like them both.

After MOMA, we met up with Diana. "Who's this Diana character?" you are all not asking yourselves....Friendster has made e-stalking much easier (simply Googling people is so a thing of the past), and while wandering through Camp Harlam's friends, I came upon Diana. Camp Harlam doesn't drum up many good memories for me (which is probably part of the unintentional torturing I have put myself through during the past few years), but I knew that, at one point, Diana and I were friends, so i dropped a line. Thankfully, she is just as much of an e-stalker as I am and didn't think it freakish that I suddenly felt like getting in touch after 8494 years (and you all know how obssessed I am with keeping in touch with people). Long story short, hanging out Saturday night was awesome and I'm thankful for e-stalking. We both got to see how much cooler we've gotten since camp...and how well we've grown out of our awkward teenage years. Good times that I hope will continue.

Sunday, I visited one of my old managers from Tower San Jose at her new, gigantic "WOW" stomping grounds in San Mateo. She informed me of some sad news....Laura Branigan (of "Gloria" and "Self Control" fame) died of a brain aneurysm. Poor 80's icon. I got a new pair of headphones for the turntables. Not the best in the world, but much better than the little earpieces I have. I bought 3 records the other day (Al Green's Greatest Hits, Madonna - Who's That Girl Soundtrack and some Disco Hits compilation) and I look forward to lying on the floor in my room just listening to them.

After checking out of W heaven, Andy and I headed up to Berkeley to check the campus out and take a tour. We had the tooliest tour guide ever. His name was Nick and he was a Math major. Need I say more? While walking around campus, I got this nostalgic feeling and started thinking that I wanted to go back to school. Nasty.

On the way back to LA, it was decided that my car is officially hurting. The passenger door is out-of-order until I can get it fixed. The constant shaking at 70 mph is all-the-sudden annoying me (except when I was sleeping...the full-body massage definately helped). And some plastic barrier thing broke in front of my front passenger-side tire (it's now duct-taped to something under there as to avoid making noise). The Mirage needs to go to a Spa.

The Republican National Convention is this week....we'll see how long I can watch it for before throwing up all over my apartment.

wasted mexican food and turntables....

Last night was Margarita Wednesday, so Aaron, Andy, Rachel and I went to Mexicali in Studio City. Rachel and I spotted a very interesting situation happening while we were there. There were two girls (one was wearing a trucker hat) sitting at a table on the patio...they had recently gotten there. They were chatting and smoking cigarettes. They hadn't touched their chips and salsa. Then, their food got there, and they just pushed it to the side and kept smoking cigarettes and chatting. They were there the entire time we were there (throughout our 80584 hour wait and then all of dinner) and never once touched their food. They just chatting and smoking cigarettes.

Welcome to LA, Jessica.

I will never understand how anyone can sit there with a quesadilla in front of them and not eat it. That's a crime as far as I'm concerned.

Another thing....

I FINALLY GOT TURNTABLES!!!!!! I got a suggestion today that my DJ name should be DJ Tanner. I can do a remix of the "Full House" theme, along with other 80's TV themes. So, if you are at a club and you hear a techno mix of the "Perfect Strangers" theme, come say hello to me. haha.

the 80's truly have struck back

Look around you. Does it seem odd that the decade everyone has always claimed to be so bad and cheesy is suddenly back, but cleaned up and modernized a little? Thank you, VH1, for bringing back our love for the 80's. It's fucking everywhere now. Felix Da Housecat's new album is all 80's electronica, FeFe Dobson looks like a black and Canadian version of Punky Brewster (or a cast-member of "Kids Incorporated"), today's popular rock bands combine the lovely dance beat of disco hi-hats and the cookie-cutter craftiness of their song composition (i.e. the la-di-da happiness of The Strokes or the stunted Oi-wanna-be-ness of Franz Ferdinand). The Yeah Yeah Yeahs remind us why Siouxsie and the Banshees had such a following and the Cure and Morrissey have new CDs!

The chicks that habitate Sunset Strip hang-outs sport neon off-the-shoulder tops with ruffled skirts, but have nixed the acid-washed anything. Super-hold hairspray is an important accessory again.
Their male counterparts have been flipping up their polo-shirt collars and now spend just as much time on their hair, yet don't seem to have any exciting styles to show for it.
Walk into a Footlocker, and all the old Jordans are back....as well as other old school Nikes, Reeboks, Adidas and Kangols (where are my LA Gear and British Knights in all this!!!)
I went to a club last week and the Robot is back.
Oh, and don't even get me started on Von Dutch.

I find all this kinda cool...especially since i love the 80's so much. Yet, i'm annoyed that buying a pair of OLD STYLE nikes costs $65. Your company came up with the idea for this shoe 20 years ago....you haven't really done anything new to it....what's with the price!

I've lost my way with this post....but, either way....I welcome the 80's back with open arms. i just hope that the next trend doesn't bring back the early 90's....more New Jack Swing is just unecessary.

How 'bout some ideas for once?!

Election time sucks. Sucks bad. I am getting pretty tired of reading news stories about Kerry's military service, medals, post-war comments and Bush's supposed lack of military service and abandonment blah blah-frickin' blah! WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!

This just goes to show how out-of-whack the presidency is. People are more concerned with what might have happend in a river in Vietnam 30 years ago than about what might happen in OUR COUNTRY....THIS YEAR!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!! Stop nit-picking people.

The Democrats had a grand goal of running a positive campaign...which was a nice idea, but it's impossible in this stupid country. Especially when everyone is attacking each other all the time about things that have NOTHING to do with being president. Let's talk ideas for once, man! The presidency should not be about who is better-looking, more like everyman, or who might have inhaled a little marijuana at some point in his life. This is a blanket statement, but it seems like Americans are more concerned about a President's image than his ideas and ability to be a good President. We tried making a supposed-everyman President, and look what happend!

These campaigns should be about who is more concerned with making this country a better place to live, NOW and in the future. I think it's a shame, really, that the country is in such a state that, in order to win swing-votes, John Kerry kinda has to play-up his military past and spend less time talking about the issues. Are there really people that care that much about his military past that they would risk our country's future by electing Bush again?

Bowm bowm...Oooooh Yeaaah

2:30pm
I am listening "Oh Yeah" by Yello right now (you may remember it from such movies as "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and such commercials as those older ones for Twix). I've never really listened to it before, but now that I've got headphones on, I am really hearing it.

Dude...it's scary. The only part I really ever remember from it is the "bowm bowm...ooooh yeeeaah" part. Little did I know that in between all that, "the voice" is also saying "beeeeaaauuutiful" "even more beautiful *hmph*" and "oooooh yeeaaah" in a very horny tone of voice. It's creepy. It sounds like Jaba the Hut getting a lap dance.

Not a fan.

4:25pm
On another note....I am now listening to The Go-Go's "Our Lips are Sealed." I would like to take this opportunity to actually thank the Duff sisters (Hilary and Hallie) for remaking the song. Forever, I have never been able to understand a word Belinda Carlisle was saying (before I even knew the name of the song (back in the day), I would always sing "All of Cecil" whatever that was supposed to mean)....but thanks to the Duffs, I can finally sing along with real words! God bless you, Lizzie McGuire and your sister!

LOGIC!

Just one thing really quick before I begin today's real Ramblings....

When making a microwave meal, does anybody actually let whatever it is stand in the microwave for 1 minute after cooking? I pretty much never do that...and nothing has ever been wrong with my food. I feel like that direction is as pointless as "lather, rinse, repeat as needed."

Now, back to you Jessica...

I cannot understand how anyone can go around and complain about how stupid liberals are (warning: post rated R: contains violent dictionary definitions). Does this sound like the description of a stupid person?

liberal adj.:
(1) Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.

(2) Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.

Someone who is not a bigot?!? How moronic!
Open to ideas for progress?!? Are you serious? Worst idea EVER!
Tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others?!? Oh come on! Amoebas are smarter than that!

Right.

From my point of view, most liberal ideas are the opposite of stupid (*"Sesame Street" moment* Elmo: "And what, children, is the opposite of stupid?" Group of politically correct, racially mixed kids: "SMART!!! Yeah!!!!" Elmo: "That's right!! Yeah!!! Now, tickle me!!!" *change the channel*). In fact, I would venture to say that a lot of the solutions we liberals want for this country are not just smart, but also pretty logical (Logic: the science of the formal principles of reasoning....in Jessica words: the science of it-just-makes-sense). So, I've set up a new liberal campaign for this year's presidential election. As much as I like John Kerry more than Bush, I am not a down-and-out terrorism-afraid American...so his whole "Hope is on the way" crap doesn't do anything for me. I want some change in the basic, duh kind of things that are going wrong around here. So, our new campaign slogan is simple...kind of like Jeb Bush's last gubernatorial campaign slogan in Florida...JEB! (yup, that was really his bumper sticker slogan, and he won...hmmm)...except our slogan is a real word with meaning.

LOGIC!

Here's how it will work:

We need to make health care more affordable. All people who work should be able to take their kids to the doctor without worrying if they will have enough oney to buy food for the next week.
LOGIC!

We need to roll-back that "tax-cuts for the wealthy" thing and actually give tax-cuts to people who need them.
LOGIC!

We need to stop funding nuclear weapons programs and put that money into inner-city schools so those kids can have the same education opportunities as those in richer communities.
LOGIC!

People actually want to put an amendment in the constitution that restricts freedom!! What? There is no good reason, whatsoever, to make gay marriage illegal. It doesn't affect ANYONE except those people who want to get married...so stay out of it and let them be in love!
LOGIC!

We need to take ourselves down from the sky-high pedestal we've put ourselves on and fix our relations with other countries. I don't see how alienating our alies is going to help make us any safer.
LOGIC!

We need to stop firing people in America and sending their jobs overseas. Do I really have to explain myself on this one...it just doesn't make any sense.
LOGIC!

We need to enforce corporations who pollute like mad to clean the hell up.
LOGIC!

Finally, for today...stem-cell research. We've put billions and billions of dollars into medical research, trying to cure diseases like diabetes and debilitating spinal chord injuries. Now we've found a way to fix things.
(say it with me)....
LOGIC!!

Guilty pleasure my ass...

I have a bone to pick with MSNBC.com. They have an article in their entertainment section about musical guilty pleasures (which must mean that there is NOTHING going on in music news in the past few days, because writing a "guilty pleasures" article is a guilty pleasure in and of itself: totally stupid and useless, but readers get a kick out of it because it sparks giggles when they see the name "Debbie Gibson" and then spend all day humming "Out of the Blue").

My problem with their specific article is that the first "guilty pleasure" mentioned is one of the best albums ever made..."Thriller" by Michael Jackson. That is absolutely NOT a guilty pleasure. Guilty pleasures are artists, songs and albums that are lame and/or just suck based on musical talent (other G.P.'s listed in this article include John Denver, The Spice Girls and Air Supply...all of which fit into the G.P. category perfectly). Author Denise Hazlick's reason for condemning "Thriller" to G.P. status is based solely on the fact that Jackson's public personna and character is creepy and scandelous. She admits the music is incredible, which automatically disqualifies it from even contending to be a G.P. Ms. Hazlick needs to take a few classes on the art of identifying guilty pleasures.

If she were to just say that Michael Jackson himself was the G.P., she could get away with it (thanks to the crappy songs that make "Dangerous" only half good, and especially thanks to "You Are Not Alone" *cringe*), but to involve "Thriller" is just plain mean.

I apologize to you, "Thriller," on behalf of Denise Hazlick.

It's like rain on your wedding day...

I was just scrounging around on CNN looking for something to spark the blogging bug in my mind, thinking I was going to make fun of politics again ( I mean, what else IS there to talk about?). Then I see "Police: Wedding guests eat victim."

"Hmmm," I think to myself. *click*

Apparently, a few guys in the Philippines have been watching too many episodes of "The Sopranos" while simultaneously showing "Silence of the Lambs" on another TV set. At his daughter's wedding, Eladio Baule, got super-pissed at his cousin, Benjie Ganay, for accidently tripping and touching the bride's ass. So, instead of just yelling obscentities at him or throwing a few punches, Baule and a few other macho family members found the act so unforgiveable that they took the accidental-ass-grabber to a secluded place and stabbed the crap out of him. Now, to add insult to mortal injury, Baule and family then proceeded to roast their beloved cousin's remains using coconut leaves and kerosene ( They must have gotten that recipe from "Iron Chef"). After forcing another cousin (by using the age old knife-to-throat method) to eat some, they brought the rest of Ganay's gourmet body parts back to the wedding reception and served him up to the drunk guests who were still partying it up ("It's fun to stay at the YMCA....ooh, what's this meat? Mmmm, it's good....Young man, there's no need to feel down....").

So, Alanis...rain on your wedding day ain't so bad anymore now, is it?

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/asiapcf/08/10/philippines.cannibal.ap/index.html

Hello Kitty's controversial activities...in French!

So far today has been a pretty funny day ( I spent a good 10 minutes laughing so hard and keeping it quiet that I started to get tears in my eyes and cramps in my stomach).

Lots of the DVDs I put into this database come in various different formats...such as French DVDs. So, there are French titles listed and I send them to Bari so she can translate them....just for kicks (it's not like it's a challenge or anything, it's just something to break up the monotiny of the day). This morning was Hello Kitty's time to shine...as she and her 79,839 DVDs took up a good chunk of my time.

According to these DVDs, Hello Kitty is a very versatile feline. She does all sorts of crap, like Saving the Day, Playing Pretend, Telling Fairytales, Going to the Movies...hell, she even Becomes a Princess. Little do people know...she also does a lot of other, way more controversial things that Sanrio doesn't want you to know about. Somehow, being the super-sleuth that I am, I was able to expose Hello Kitty for the horrible animal that she is. And here for your trivia pleasure are some of those DVDs Sanrio has been covering up all these years....in French! Try to translate them on your own and then check out the answers at the bottom of this post! Ooooh, Fun!

1) Hello Kitty construit les armes nucléaires.
2) Hello Kitty soulève l'alerte de terreur.
3) Hello Kitty trouve les armes de destruction massive.
4) Hello Kitty surdosage sur E à un éloge avec les jumelles de Bush.
5) Hello Kitty course pour la siege de senat du Missouri et perd a un homme mort mais elle devienne ministre de la justice des Etats-Unis.






1) Hello Kitty builds nuclear weapons.
2) Hello Kitty raises the terror alert.
3) Hello Kitty finds weapons of mass destruction.
4) Hello Kitty overdoses on E at a rave with the Bush Twins.
5) Hello Kitty runs for Missouri Senate, loses to a dead guy and becomes US Attorney General.

I guess this is all a little long overdue....

One would think that me having a blog would've been something that should've happened a LONG time ago, being that I pretend to know a lot about computers and like to spout out meaningless comments on anything and everything going on in life. But, nonetheless, I never had one until my partner-in-archaeological crime, Bari the Wise Law Student of Fordham University and Co-Queen of Sarcasm (I feel a "Princess Diaries" spoof coming on....), urged me to start one. I mean, I post stuff on MySpace every so often...but that stuff is mostly about important topics, like politics and such. What I need is a place to spill out the random such and such comments that pop into my head and need to be shared (for example, I hate how Ashlee Simpson wears a tee-shirt that says "Punk" on it...you are not a friggin' punk!) Many times I'm all excited to share them with someone, but if no one is online to receive them, they eventually disappear, never to see the light of day.
So, here it is...finally. Hopefully you will all enjoy my random "musings" (I put that in quotes because I never use that word...it's so pretentious. Oy, so is the word "pretentious"...anyway).

Now, what was the topic we were speaking of that sparked all this blogging madness?

My current employment situation has me sitting in front of 2 monitors at the MGM Home Entertainment offices copy and pasting movie information from a Word document into an online database. I get very ADD with it, so being AIM all day long keeps me sane.
I think that it's pretty funny that "sensuality" is a rating reason for movies. Like, "this movie is rated R because it contains Violence, Language and Sensuality." What the hell does that mean?

Well, according to Dictionary.com, the noun sensuality means: "The quality or state of being sensual or lascivious." And since using the root word and an even more ambiguous word in the definition tells us nothing, we'll have to go a step further define those also.

sensual adj - (1) Relating to or affecting any of the senses or a sense organ; sensory.
or the definition probably used by the ratings people:
sensual adj - (2a) Of, relating to, given to, or providing gratification of the physical and especially the sexual appetites.
lascivious adj - Given to or expressing lust; lecherous

Ok, so Sensuality seems to mean a Sexual Situation with feelings, desire and a positive outcome that feels good; Sensuality is a Sexual Situation in which the people involved actually like each other.

Dear Ratings Reasons People:
Enough with the complications! In the end, Sensuality is just another, more loving name for a Sexual Situation. What happend to the old days when ratings reasons were simple, and all we needed to know was that there's sex, violence and cursing? What's next...are you going to break down the sexual situations like you've done with the "violence" category ("Showgirls" is rated NC-17 as it contains an erotic scene of Elizabeth Berkeley and Kyle McLachlan having raucous sex in a pool, various breast-exposing situations, nude women pushing each other down flights of stairs...etc. etc.)?
Sincerely,
Jessica

Ok, back to work. (Rated PG-13: Contains violent data entry situations, thoughts of swear words and sexual situations)