The Bible Goes Ultra-Hollywood

Before we get to the meat of this post....two things I observed on my way home from work today:
1) I hate it when, in bumper to bumper traffic on a road with lights, people stop far away from the car in front of them. Don't they realize the adverse effects this may have for someone behind them (for example, somebody stuck in the middle of an intersection as the light turns red only needs a couple feet until he's out of traffic's way...if only the person in front of me would move up those couple of feet.......)
2) I saw this chick riding a chopper today. She looked like Stretch Armstrong on that thing. It was odd.

Ok, so here goes the real post.

Why I didn't blog about this 74939 years ago, I will never know, so excuse me for my tardiness.

Ever since I moved to LA, I've seen billboards for a new musical opening at the Kodak Theater. The annual Passover/Easter TV staple,The Ten Commandments, has been turned into a musical. Apparently it already had a run in Europe and the kind fashion folks at BCBGMaxAzria decided it would be a great idea to bring it over to the States. So...awesome. America loves biblical musicals. Especially when they star actors like Donny Osmond or Val Kilmer.

What? Val Kilmer!?

Yup. The hot, yet constantly stern-looking actor who has portrayed such classic characters as The Iceman, Batman, Jim Morrison and the murdered porn guy from Wonderland, can now add Moses, the singing leader of the wandering Hebrews, as part of his incredibly random resume. In the billboard picture, Kilmer has his typical mean look on his face. Like suddenly Moses is this tough guy ready to spray bullets into any evil Egyptians that get in his way. "Let my people go, you motherfuckers!!!!!!" And while he passes through the Red Sea, he turns around and says to the drowning Pharoah, in a deep macho tone, "We will never...be slaves again." And then he proceeds to run through a huge group of Hebrews, charging his staff in the air and yelling "Freedom!!!!" The Hebrews are totally pumped that they are going to spend the next 40 years wandering around in a fuckin' desert singing catchy Broadway tunes the whole time. "Go go go Moses you know what they say!"

Something in me just can't imagine Val Kilmer singing...in a musical. "Go down Moses, way down to Egypt land (or something). Tell old Pharoah, Let My People Go."

I don't know what's sillier about this...Val Kilmer as Moses or the fact that this show even exists at all. There needs to be some kind of limit put on what can be made into a musical. What's next? "Schindler's List: The Musical?"

Oy.